Togetherness with Horses - Camille Dareau

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Early Experiences

I was born in Scotland in 1975 and when I was five years old, I sat on a little grey pony at our village fete. Something awakened inside me and I didn’t stop asking for more horses until we went to the local riding school. That first visit I remember seeing a man carrying a foal across the yard and that was it. The desire for togetherness, to wrap my world around these mysterious creatures and breathe them in every possible minute was ignited .

I had a lot of accidents, being rolled over, thrown off, kicked and bitten at times, and there was always a clear lesson. Listen, listen, listen. Be here, be present, wake up, feel, breathe, remember. The further I tried to push into control, the colder and lonelier it got. Every time I let go and listened, and rediscovered gentleness, sensitivity and remembered to be still, the warmer the rush of love I felt when we found each other again.

Finding My Path

Every time I strayed too far away from that warm feeling of togetherness, the dissatisfaction of it would pull me back. Straying for me was getting too focused on external results, being ready for the next competition, making the team, or jumping high enough.

My path just wasn’t in that direction. Looking back it is clear that going within myself would always be the catalyst of greater joy. Not because it was the best way, or the right way, but because it was my way to be happy.

Losing Our Togetherness

I saw many people abusing horses when I was growing up and I didn’t need to be told it was abuse, I could feel it. The horses were my friends, and we had an understanding. That friendship didn’t mean that I was never scared of them, because I was quite often! Especially when that spark had dimmed and their heart was heavy. There was a lot of persuasion from many of the adults I met to get harder and less patient with horses, and I did try, but it never felt good or resolved any issues we had.

The last time I felt the loss of our togetherness was when I worked on a dressage yard in my year out before starting University. The stress of the hours and the hard work, the structure that was in place without any consideration for the horses, brought everything into focus. The day I realised that the horses were just getting in the way, and I didn’t even feel that I liked them anymore, I woke up.

It was a horrible feeling, a desperate, empty grief for that sacred, untouchable togetherness we once had. I left the yard and resolved to find my truth with horses, where our love was free to grow.

The Holistic Unwinding

This was the beginning of my exploration into a relationship without boundaries. The first part was a holistic unwinding which happened over many years. Initially going barefoot, and finally rug-free and introducing the forage-only diet. Letting go of stabling and segregation somewhere in-between.

Each of these mini lifestyle and management revolutions were a result of a deeper understanding of the physical and emotional needs of the horses.

Parallel to this I had been gradually developing a therapeutic awareness in studying and practising Craniosacral Therapy. This was an invaluable dimension for me, as it opened me spiritually. I began to understand that we are vibrational beings, that energy isn’t a part of life, or an add-on, it is the foundation.

Our Biomechanical Education

There are no mistakes in our life journey, because it is a becoming, and everything contributes to this. I embarked, with my sister, on a deep study of how to ride. Our number one teachers were the horses, and it was on purpose that we had recuperated every rejected and rebellious horse we heard of.

These horses were gold, because they refused to oblige or compensate for bad treatment. This facilitated our authentic learning. They were the ones who threw everyone off at the riding school. The youngsters who couldn’t be backed because they reared dangerously. We also took on the ones who the vet said would never come sound and the deeply traumatised racehorses who couldn’t be handled anymore.

Equine Solutions

They taught us so much, those courageous, wise horse beings. How to sit so they felt secure with a rider. Where to place our weight to help them move straighter and looser with a rider. The ways to apply aids which felt comfortable and therapeutic to them. Gentle handling and patience, exploring for pain, acknowledging trauma.

There was no technique, no one-fits-all methodology. Conditioning and desensitisation might temporarily fix problems, but they don’t offer long term solutions. They don’t bring you closer to the horse’s heart, and that was what spoke to these horses. They knew whether you wanted to fix them or hear them. There were physiological dynamics which could unlock many resistances, and they required consistent effort to master.

Herd Therapy

And in all this there was the healing power of the Herd! There is no more grounding and healing environment than an established, empowered herd. We found no horse who was unable to return to it and find their place. One mare was bullied for many years and considered taking her out of the herd, but that felt wrong. Now she is one of the leading matriarchs. Togetherness is a miraculous therapy.

Despite the clear success of our work together, I felt I was hitting another wall. I could see and feel a resistance in the horses that I couldn’t reach through the channels we had created. I was preparing for a quantum leap in understanding and it would require a major shift. It became clear that I needed to set everything I thought I knew aside and to follow the subtle dialogue that I had been tuning into in the healing sessions.

The Path to Togetherness

Could this correspondence guide what we were doing together? I wanted to find out. I decided to set aside everything I thought I knew and start again. This time our only guide would be our dialogue together. I was ready for this because I had practiced enough in the energetic connection to trust our communication. That I could both interpret it and reciprocate. I was no expert, but we were ready to start.

As human beings we often imagine that our traditions and customs have existed for a very long time. It is easy to be limited by that idea, and tricked into thinking we can’t change things and evolve. In truth we are always on the frontline of creation and our relationship with our horses can reflect that.

Being One Being

When we started our new journey I didn’t know what my goal was. I had no idea if it would involve riding or not. There were no rules and no limitations. It was simply a journey of discovery to see where communing on the level of energy would take us together.

Nearly six years have gone by, and the potential we have been aware of all along is slowly materialising into something greater than I ever could have imagined. Most of this has been an inner journey for all of us. The inspired action that is visible on the outside has been minimal, and yet it feels like miracles.

Our partnership has changed from asking the horses to trust me, to me asking myself to trust them. From me asking to get on to their backs, to them inviting me. This has all transpired through the energetic dialogue alone, and now we are on the brink of a togetherness that goes beyond trust.