It came to me that life here in the body is simply an experience, it is a million experiences, of all different kinds. The experiences are expressed through the Universal Breath: Feeling in and Doing out. This is the heart of our horse human relationship. 

I can feel the shape of the ego and how it wraps around us, it is a necessary skin that delivers us from the whole sea into individual droplets. This is so that we can experience consciousness as the droplet itself, and in remembering again that we are part of the sea.

Individuality can be shared with the whole. Every possible experience here is delivered back through that process, the enlightening process of recapturing love. From the darkest to the brightest. Perhaps those who live the darkest lives, perpetrating the most cruel acts, have accepted the greatest challenges for all of us. 

Compassion Is My Purpose

I am finding this is a very difficult period of my life. Instead of concentrating on the horses, I have been repeatedly channeled back to my human relationships, and ultimately back into myself. Again and again it is necessary to find a path out of the darkness and suffering of the pain body. To remember that the only task here is compassion.

This is about comprehending the contrast between love and no love. To discern the difference between open heart and closed heart, ego and awareness. It is such an extreme challenge. Maybe it is not possible to understand it, only to recognise whenever love has been forgotten, and remember how to love again.

The horses are a ballast in the storm because they resonate so deeply with the Source. 

Last night I stood with Quaramba. Pressing against her solidity, her acceptance, her profound love. Feeling the jangling of chaos quieting into stillness. The suffocating heaviness of depression lightening and fading away.

She was teaching that no matter how deeply you have been possessed by your pain body, no matter how dark the glass of your perception becomes, there is always one little step, one rope hanging into that well of suffering that you can grab on to and begin to pull yourself out.

The Horses’ Free Will

Even if it is just this out-breath right now. Take that step, and the next is easier. Soon your heart is open again, and you have remembered why you are here. Only to love and be loved. 

The element of my relationship with horses which inspires me the most is free will. The voluntary nature of expression. Looking careful at the history of mankind with horses, it is clear that this is rare. With dogs it is proving simpler to discover an authentic mutuality. It is already acceptable for a dog to live in our lives without an assigned purpose beyond being a friend. Experiencing life together. That doesn’t mean that everyone finds the delicate balance of sharing in harmony, but it seems closer, less complicated. 

Horses represent a more significant investment, in time and in money.. and our society is only just realising that this can be made just because we love them. And because they love us. They support our journey. Their souls fly high, and they can take us there if we wish to follow. Sharing is the deepest joy. Is this why we feel such a desire to capture the beauty around us with our phones?

The same feeling can be there between horse and human.. to share this moment together. To go deeper into the share. With dogs we can share so easily.. our bed, our sofa and our walks. All different experiences we can live together. It can be the same with horses. We can enter their home, and the deeper we connect with their vibration, the more doors will open to us. We can discover how to share sensation.

Sharing Sensation

I have been exploring this a little with the herd:

Meeting up with Quaramba in the sunny, frosty morning. She approaches when Marie and I are breathing together. First we are greeting each other, exploring how we feel today, here and now. Her whiskers are so lively, vibrating with playful energy, she wants to capture the edge of my glove with her teeth, to squeeze it with her teeth so cleverly and with such love. I can feel the love through the power she has in her teeth. The choice she makes to press gently, to nip only the glove, to get as close with pressure as she can.

This is the heart of the relationship. It is sharing this being-a-body together. We are progressing into her ears, she loves her ears being gently stretched and rubbed. I am reciprocating the same pressure, finding the perfect balance. I can sense some heaviness in her temperomandibular joint, and how the lightest stroking along the bone is softening that, and stroking down her neck she yields it and stretches down and now she is yawning.

I can feel some tension in her fetlocks, I hold them for a minute energetically, and step back to invite her to approach me, she pauses for a while, then steps in and something releases in her whole body. Now there is a feeling of congestion in her frontal bone.. gently tracing my finger over it and she is yawning and releasing again.. 

Monday the 18th of January

Taking Being Into Doing

It is so simple this. Taking being into doing within the present moment. In mutual dialogue. It is simple and yet it has been a long practice in becoming sensitive, first within and then without, and now it is a spiral.

It is the bridge between us. The way that we can experience our human-ness and our horse-ness in one space of light.

Each action guided is by the sensory perception of energy. Each action has its root in Now. The Universal Breath of Feeling in and Doing out. 

Although my mind still wavers, and wonders how such subtle threads can ever make a tapestry, Quaramba seems to know. She radiates an unspoken promise of limitlessness, of potential within the physical realm as yet un-manifested that will be, that will come.