We only had two herd connections this week, yet it feels like we travelled a thousand miles! We explored the wonder of physiology, and the bridle pattern was released. Perhaps there will be more. I am sure that there will be no missed steps or cut corners with the herd…

Everything seemed to change overnight after we acknowledged the horses without choice. The herd began going round to the summer barn in the morning, and it seemed that a new chapter had begun. I started the first day at the mounting block again, and this time I brought a bridle with me. 

The Shift From Grooming to Physiology 

At first there was a sense of something in between us, the herd and I, a space. As I focused on it, it became filled with potential, the blissful vibration of potential. My mind was asking what it meant, but it could not be explained in words. Honey kept looking across at me. I sat there enjoying the feeling of potential, and went deeper into the connection between us again. What can we enjoy together.. where might this lead? Then I felt a sense picture of the horses’ collective TMJ (Temperomandibular Joint) it was an agreeable sense of stretching, it felt nice, and while I was exploring this, the word physiology popped into my mind.

Monday the 18th of May

This is it! we can enjoy our physiology together. At this point I felt a strong push to take the bridle out to the herd, into their territory…The horses were stealing glances and seemed to be pretending not to watch my approach. Then I felt a strong boundary at their gate, it was friendly but impenetrable. I waited at this.

Gradually the entire herd changed direction, and began moving round to the summer barn. There was a strong message that I must follow, that I am certainly invited, but only as a follower. Rafael was the leader, and one by one everyone followed.

It felt right, comfortable, to wait until the whole herd went through to the back field. The beloveds, Marie and Gorrion lingered a while, and then they went too. 

Monday 18th May

After we reached the summer barn and everyone was installed, Marie came up to me. We both seemed to be aware of the shift between us from the grooming connection to physiology. Marie indicated me to go to the herd, and I was waiting on edge and presenting the physiology energy to herd. It felt amazing, so full of joy and excitement, so huge and amazing, celebrating our bodies.

In those moments it felt like I was remembering who I am, what is my deepest joy. This is my purpose. The herd began to absorb the energy, comfortably, like a big soft sponge.. they have so much absorption capacity! It felt good to be absorbed, the flow was good. There is so much power in the herd…becoming, rippling, radiating peace… awareness of the intimacy of sharing physiology… of being accepted.. of opening up all spaces and sharing through love. 

Monday 18th of May

Our Personal Visions Of Perfect Physiology

• I started with my own, which still feels young and unexplored. It is the sense of extending fully into every single cell in my body.. radiating out and stretching into vastness.. finding the edge between vastness and oneness. 
• Honey: gave a sense picture of herself as a low moving arrow, flowing powerfully and yet not rapidly… long, low and comfortably dark like the earth…rhythmic and free..
• From Totti I could feel the wholeness of the rivulet which runs between stillness and perfect flow.. the meniscus, the membrane of the water whole and undisturbed..
• Quaramba was growing enormous wings, I could feel them sprouting from her shoulders, and she described that moment of hovering in perfect control above the ground, between the stillness and the dive. Holding her energy with such vast power. 
• Aimée’s vision was very different, the gentle swaying, hanging, a hammock made of the lightest material.. like see-through leaves so soft and fine.. the line between softness and strength, secure yet so delicate like silk.

• Rafael expressed himself as a mass, a dark ball of vibrating energy, hovering in the most perfect balance..there was an exquisite sense of balance and timing held in one fulcrum, one centre. 
• Gorrion was amazing, this was a new experience of communication with him. I had no idea he was so eloquent, although I do sense his magnificence waiting under the surface. He gave his picture of growing and unfolding majestically from deep in the ground, like a great weeping willow tree, golden yellow leaves unfurling.. taller and wider. There was so much power and connection with the ground and up into the air.
• Marie instantly transmitted herself as gold.. molten gold, both sparking and soft, seeking the moment between flow and solidity.. held in perfect peace and radiating beauty. 
• Cheyenne went deeper and deeper into the ground, and as she dived bravely in, the sense of space and lightness increased.. finding the edge between depth of intimacy and the lightness of space. This was so beautiful. She seemed to include me in her vision unlike the other horses.  

Explaining Physiology 

Inhabiting a body allows us to perceive our existence in a physical way. There is a spectrum from pleasure to pain, and so many wonderful variants in between. Following this perception of our own body, (and in others when our senses are developed enough) is both healing and enjoyable.

It was interesting to note that every vision of our heightened physiological expression, including my own, seemed to involve a boundary. An edge were two apparently opposing qualities meet and merge. I don’t know at this point what the manifestation of these energetic realms will be, if they will be manifested physically at all. This seems to be the question that is steadily germinating… how does being become doing in this relationship with the horse? The Universe began to answer this the next time we got together in the connected space. Just as we have been doing all along, there were wrinkles to unravel.. purification to assist in. 

The herd were in the the summer barn again, and I felt energetically merged with them from the start. I decided to bring the bridle inside. Sitting within the herd I began to feel a pattern of how the bridle has done damage. Similar to the head-collar ceremony, it had a universal sense to it, and I could tell it was a story from horse-kind.

A dark song that has been playing for centuries. It was expressing itself on an intensely physical level however. I could feel a sense of violent pulling on the horses heads. It was as if the bridle was imbued with this. It did not feel related to riding, but from interacting from the ground. I felt damage in the TMJ, the jaw and the cervical vertebrae. Honey approached at this point, and then Cheyenne. She wanted to investigate the bridle, to touch it with her mouth.

Healing The Bridle Pattern

I felt the vibration of being the damager. It was not guilt, although perhaps I expected that, but the root feeling itself of perpetrating the injury. It was difficult to go into, and in embracing it there was a growing sadness. As I did this, and the sadness reached its peak, the horses began to yawn and release and process the shifting very expressively… enthusiastically almost. There was a sense of such incredible support in this, and love. The air actually felt thick with it.

Then the focus changed and I felt the horses rejecting the bridle.. it was like a trauma pattern, the way the action was trapped within. A reciprocal force, of them energetically throwing the bridle wildly off, rearing and tearing away. Gorrion came to stand with me then. I felt a sense of wanting to hold on, to hold on to that bridle and not let go. To capture the horses and control them. The horses were all supporting me to let go. I felt as if I was the conveyer of these feelings. The bearer of the pattern rather than the source of it. I’m not sure how it happened, but somehow, in the magical space of universal healing intelligence, there was a change… when taking became giving. Understanding that everything must be offered, that is the language of the horse.

At this point offering the bridle as a gift felt right, yet when I did that physically there was ambivalence from the horses. I think it was a disconnectedness. I wondered if again I had been taken over by the impatience of the human collective. Exploring it was for another day, although offering the bridle did have a symbolic value of some kind. Highlighting the path less travelled perhaps. After a little while Rafael took everyone away.

Thursday the 21st May